I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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