I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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