You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
