i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
