I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
two words...techno handjob
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
