If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
