You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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