you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
