Dual....:-)
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
