i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
