This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
