my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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