Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
OPIZZABONMYDICK
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
