You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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