yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
