This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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