i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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