when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
