Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
