If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
