Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
