yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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