goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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