roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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