just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
