Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
