nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
