cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
