Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
