Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
