i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
