you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
