What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize