Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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