At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
