my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize