wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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