Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
