Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
