I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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