It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize