i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
