He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I lost the right to judge tonight
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
