Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He has the fingertips of a God
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