I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
