Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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