What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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