We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
