How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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