but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
