Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
