i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
