I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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