If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
