i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
