Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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