thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
