I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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