dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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